Thursday Things: Comets and Critics Edition
16 March 2023. Vol 5 No 11. By Dan McGirt. #188
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“Vampires? No, I haven’t seen any around here. Why do you ask?” Photo by Vitaliy Shevchenko on Unsplash
Mark your calendar
I missed the “green comet” that was swooping around the sky earlier this year. Too many city lights and bad viewing angles where I live and I didn’t make any special trip out to the countryside to catch a glimpse. Maybe I’ll catch it when it comes back in 50,000 years.
But the beauty of the universe is that there is always another comet. And sometimes it’s a bigger, brighter, better comet:
Approaching Comet Predicted to Shine Brighter Than Stars in The Sky
Make a note of the newly discovered comet with the lengthy name of C/2023 A3 (Tsuchinshan-ATLAS): as it gets closer to the Sun and our planet, it could shine brighter in Earth's night sky than many stars.
The comet's nearest approach to the Sun, or perihelion, won't be until September 28, 2024, before hitting its closest point to Earth a few weeks later on October 13, so you've got plenty of time to get your blanket and telescopes organized.
Though estimates are extremely tentative, astronomers are predicting a brightness of magnitude 0.7 at the comet's perihelion. Keeping in mind numbers lower on the magnitude scale represent brighter objects, with Betelgeuse in the Orion constellation at around 0.42, and Antares – the brightest star in the constellation Scorpio – a little dimmer at a touch over 1.
At its closest point to Earth, the comet's magnitude could reach an even more dazzling -0.2, which would make it one of the brightest objects in the night sky.
Of course, at the rate AI is improving, this comet could be just in time to herald the end of the world. October of next year sounds about right. That’s not a prediction, but if ChatGPT goes full Skynet by then, at least it will be a good show!
A comet doing its comet thing. Photo by Justin Wolff on Unsplash
Everyone’s a critic
Criticism. We all receive it. We probably all give it. And no one actually wants it.
Why do we criticize each other? Psychology Today has at least 30 possible reasons:
The 30 Most Common Reasons People Might Criticize You
Criticism can be a way of asserting power and social control, or of neutralizing competition, but it can also be a way of communicating a genuine grievance or speaking up for oneself, even if unskillfully. Not all experiences and situations are the same, and becoming emotionally intelligent means understanding the subtler nuances and context so you can respond mindfully and skillfully.
Below are 30 possible reasons why a friend, partner, colleague, relative or acquaintance may criticize you:
I won’t list all 30 reasons — go read the article! — but here are a few:
They are threatened by your competence, attractiveness, etc. so they are trying to level the playing field.
They have a controlling personality and have to be in charge.
They feel entitled to special treatment or status and do not feel they are receiving it.
They lack social skills and are delivering well-meant feedback unskillfully.
They feel you are acting unfairly or taking advantage.
Most of the reasons on the list are negative. As the article points out:
The majority of the reasons listed above have to do with the critic’s own agenda or perspective, but some may be the result of your behavior, or of an unskillful attempt to connect with you. When partners or spouses criticize each other, there are often softer feelings underneath, such as feeling hurt, rejected, or not important. It is best to try to understand the critic's agenda before responding so you can tailor your response to best meet the situation.
The rest of the article offers 14 questions to ask yourself about criticism you may receive so that you can choose how best to respond mindfully and effectively. Lots of good and useful advice there.
Although I think Buddha had the best response to critics1, as related in this tale:
According to an ancient story, Buddha was known as a man who could not be provoked to anger or hostility. A man traveled hundreds of miles to test Buddha’s reputation. When he found Buddha, he immediately began to criticize everything he could; he insulted him, he challenged him, he did everything he could to offend Buddha. Buddha was unperturbed.
He said, “May I ask you a question?”
“Of course,” the man responded.
Buddha said, “If someone offers you a gift and you decline to accept it, to whom then does it belong?”
The man said, “Then it belongs to the person who offered it.”
Buddha smiled. “That is correct. So if I decline to accept your abuse, does it not then still belong to you?”
Mic drop.
Buddha may have been all peace and love, but he could shut you down hard when he wanted to.
“You can see yourself out.” —Buddha, probably. Photo by Mattia Faloretti on Unsplash
Thursday is taken
Thursday, as all people of taste and distinction know, means it’s time for another edition of Thursday Things. Obviously. That’s what Thursdays are for!
But someone didn’t get the memo that Thursday is taken. Via Late Checkout, a Substack by Greg Isenberg, I have been alerted to the existence of “Thursday” — a dating app, based in the UK, that only works on Thursdays.2
Thursday. Source: Thursday.
Per their Twitter page: Thursday is:“The Members Club that connects singles in-person, every Thursday. London & NYC. App + events.”
Their LinkedIn profile explains Thursday’s mission: “to make Thursday the most exciting day to be single, every week. People are spending too much time on dating apps and it's an underwhelming experience. So we’ve built Thursday, where everything you want from online dating happens on one day. We’re on a mission to make dating exciting every Thursday as we encourage you to match, chat and meet the very same day. Why? Because there’s more to life than dating apps.”
I want to be mad at this upstart invading my turf,3 but the site is so gosh darn cute I can’t do it. I just can’t. So welcome to Thursday, Thursday! You’re making the best day of the week that much better, and who can complain about that? Not me!
Thank you for reading!
Please click the hearts, leave a comment, and use the share feature to send this issue to a friend who might enjoy it. See you next Thursday!
The O-Ren-Ishi approach to critics is also viable, when warranted by circumstances. I’ll let you Google that one, if you haven’t seen Kill Bill Vol. 1.
Which Thursday Things can totally relate to.
Technically Thursday came first, since they appear to have launched in 2018, a year ahead of Thursday Things. I choose to ignore that small detail. Thursday is my day, I tell you! Mine!