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It’s just hanging there in the sky, ripe for the taking. Photo by Neven Krcmarek on Unsplash
Why go to the moon when you can make your own? Actually, China is doing both. The Chinese are planning to send people to the moon:
China’s Lunar Exploration Program, named after the Chinese moon goddess “Chang’e”, has so far deployed lunar orbiters, landers, rovers and sample return spacecraft to the moon. Now, the country is planning to put human beings on the moon—a feat not seen since the last Apollo mission in 1972.
China’s first moon landing is tentatively scheduled for 2030 — which would only be 61 years behind America sending astronauts to the moon. You’re doing great, China!
But in the meantime, the Chinese want to study low gravity effects such as those found on the moon while here on Earth. That sounds cool:
Chinese scientists have built an "artificial moon" research facility that will enable them to simulate low-gravity environments using magnetism.
My first thought was a scaled down model moon floating inside a giant auditorium that astronauts1 can bounce around on to practice their lunar move. But, alas, it’s not actually that cool:
China builds 'artificial moon' for gravity experiment
The facility, slated for official launch this year, will use powerful magnetic fields inside a 2-foot-diameter (60 centimeters) vacuum chamber to make gravity "disappear." The scientists were inspired by an earlier experiment that used magnets to levitate a frog.
That’s right — China has magnetic frog levitating technology! I think that’s the real story here. Anyway, their pretend moon chamber is only two feet across. Which is not big enough to fit an astronaut2 into. Unless, of course that astronaut3 is a frog.
I think China is preparing to send a frog to the moon. Perhaps a whole expedition of frogs. Maybe an army of frogs genetically engineered to survive on the harsh lunar surface. Frogs trained to attack the moonbases of rival powers. An army of moon-dwelling Chinese superfrogs4 is what I’m getting at.
Crazy? Maybe. But it wouldn’t be the worst thing to come out of Chinese biolab, now would it?5
I’m not saying this is a Chinese lunar attack frog. But I’m not saying it isn’t. Photo by David Clode on Unsplash
Guess what else they have? China's $1 trillion 'artificial sun' fusion reactor just got five times hotter than the sun. Why stop at an artificial moon, when you can build an artificial sun too?6
China's "artificial sun" has set a new world record after superheating a loop of plasma to temperatures five times hotter than the sun for more than 17 minutes, state media reported.7
The EAST (Experimental Advanced Superconducting Tokamak) nuclear fusion reactor maintained a temperature of 158 million degrees Fahrenheit (70 million degrees Celsius) for 1,056 seconds, according to the Xinhua News Agency. The achievement brings scientists a small yet significant step closer to the creation of a source of near-unlimited clean energy.
Well, I’m sure China will be happy to share their near-unlimited clean energy with the rest of the world.8
Meanwhile, in Peru… Archaeologists Suspect Hallucinogenic Beer Helped Bolster a Peruvian Empire
Over 1,400 years ago, the Wari Empire ruled over what is now Peru. Scientists and historians are still learning more about this culture, which existed for around 500 years and which existed in a state of perpetual detente with its rival power, the Tiwanaku culture.
Ah, yes, the age-old standoff between the Wari Empire and the Tiwanaku culture. Good times!
Now, archaeologists have made another significant discovery about what life in the Wari Empire was like — and it involves psychedelics and beer. Or, to be more precise, it involves psychedelic beer.
Hey, you got your psychedelics in my beer!
Oh yeah, well you got beer on my psychedelics!
I think you can see where this is going.
Recent findings suggest that the Wari Empire had a particular skill at statecraft and diplomacy. One reason for this was a beverage served at diplomatic events, which contained psychedelic ingredients. Interviewed by Insider, Justin Jennings of the University of Toronto described the context of this beer as “statecraft writ small in the form of something that was akin to a long, boozy, and likely quite a delightful dinner party.”
Oh, no doubt. No doubt.
You can read all about it in Hallucinogens, alcohol and shifting leadership strategies in the ancient Peruvian Andes (“This article addresses the relationship between psychoactive substances and political change in the pre-Columbian Central Andes by presenting the first archaeobotanical evidence from the region for the addition of a hallucinogen to alcohol.”)
Maybe the world could use a little psychedelic beer-driven diplomacy right about now.
“Why, yes, you are negotiating with a talking llama. Have another beer, and I think you’ll see that my peace plan and economic development proposals start to make sense.” Photo by leandro fregoni on Unsplash
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Well, “taikonauts” but same thing.
Or, again, “taikonaut”.
“Taikonaut”
“taikofrogs”
Or have you forgotten about the polar bear-sized Chinese super pigs? Thursday Things covered this in 2019.
At least they didn’t build an artificial Uranus.
With “state media reported” being the key phrase here. You can never quite trust what state media reports.
Probably by using it to power a giant moon-based space laser capable of hitting any target on Earth and guarded by a legion of lunar frogs. Unless America returns to the moon first. And makes it a state. Get back to work, Elon!
An artificial moon and sun...what could possibly go wrong with that? lol